On the surface, your teen’s life may look easy: After all, adolescents get to enjoy a lot of adult privileges, like independent socializing and driving, without having to cope with adult responsibilities. However, while it’s true that most teens don’t have to pay bills or care for dependents, they face numerous stressors that adults don’t have to deal with. Teens also experience a heightened stress response due to developmental changes that cause the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) system to become profoundly sensitive during adolescence. These changes make the adolescent brain more vulnerable to the effects of both acute and chronic stress; recent research studies indicate that the cognitive and emotional damage created by chronic stress is more severe and lasts longer for teens than adults. Excessive stress during adolescence is strongly associated with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and the development of complex mental illnesses, like schizophrenia.
Even if your teen has a supportive, stable family, he or she may still be dealing with chronic stress. Child and adolescent stress levels are on the rise, and many of the causes of teen stress come from outside the home. Between 2017 to 2022, the percentage of college-age adolescents who reported feeling “overwhelming anxiety” rose from 50% to 62%, driven largely by the influence of social media, information overload, romantic relationships, peer pressure, and increasing academic and economic pressures. For the first time in history, teen stress levels have exceeded those of adults, according to APA's “Stress in America” poll. Equally troubling, today’s teens are more likely than adults to underestimate the negative effects of stress. The APA poll revealed that over half (54%) of teens believe their stress levels have little or no impact on their physical and mental health, compared to just 39% of adults. Teens, therefore, need parental care and guidance to assess and address the detrimental effects of stress and to learn how to manage stress. By becoming familiar with the signs of chronic stress and learning ways to help your teen cope, you can protect your son or daughter from the most damaging aspects of stress and prevent them from developing an anxiety disorder.
What are the Signs of Stress in Teenagers?
Many children and adolescents are hesitant to openly discuss the stress they’re under. When feel stressed out, teens may keep their anxiety to themselves because they’re concerned about disappointing or worrying their parents, or because they fear being misunderstood. Instead, teen stress tends to manifest in the form of behavioural and emotional changes, such as:
- Sleep problems (either insomnia or over-sleeping).
- Increased destructive or confrontational behaviour, like picking fights at school, experimenting with substance abuse, self-harming, or acting out at home.
- Poor eating habits, such as not eating enough or eating an excessive amount of junk food.
- Difficulty concentrating and/or a sudden decline in academic performance.
- Personality changes, including irritability, seeming disengaged or fatigued, or experiencing depression. Your teen may also exhibit a more negative or cynical attitude.
- Social withdrawal (i.e., your teen starts to avoid peer interaction and spends a significant amount of time alone).
- Complaining of frequent ailments, like headaches or stomachaches, that have no identifiable medical cause. Physical health complaints incl. high blood pressure or increased heart rate are very common for teens experiencing severe stress and anxiety.
Brief periods of stress are a normal part of adolescence, because many teens struggle to deal with the rapid physical, social, and emotional changes they experience during and after puberty. If your teen suffers from any of the above symptoms for longer than two weeks, however, or her symptoms are significantly affecting her school attendance, mental health, or social life, you should consider seeing a mental health professional. The issues you are facing may be beyond teenage stress management and might not be caused by chronic stress alone, but by unresolved trauma, or an underlying mental health condition, such as generalized anxiety disorder.
5 Ways to Help Your Teen Cope with Stress
Though adolescents can appear distant and resistant to aid, it’s important to make a consistent effort to help your teen cope with stress. As the central adult figure in your teen’s life, you’re her best role model for how to manage complex problems, and her most trusted source of support. To help your teen learn manage sources of stress, try using the five parenting strategies below:
1. Encourage your teen to do well at school, but don’t push for academic perfection.
School is the number one source of stress for most teens, according to the American Psychological Association. Today’s adolescents feel a great deal of pressure to excel academically in order to get into a good college and achieve their career goals. They also have to complete far more homework than previous generations: In 2011, the average high school student was expected to do about 6.8 hours of homework per week, while today, they may be asked to do as much as 17 hours of homework per week. At the same time, most teens are struggling to keep up with extracurricular activities and the frenzied pace of social media. They are, understandably, overwhelmed.
Rather than feeding into the perfectionism that many young people already apply to themselves, teach your teen to refine and prioritize her objectives. Encourage her to focus on the subjects she’s most passionate about, and don’t criticize her if she doesn’t get straight A’s across all subjects. Talk to her about reducing her screen time and extracurricular commitments, if necessary, and make sure she has at least a few hours of free time on the weekends.
2. Educate your teen about the importance of sleep.
To maintain their packed schedules, many adolescents sacrifice sleep in favour of doing homework or socializing. At the same time, they’re dealing with a naturally “delayed” circadian rhythm that makes it difficult for them to fall asleep before one or two a.m. As a result, many teens are walking around in a perpetually sleep-deprived state, which is both physically and mentally unhealthy. Inadequate sleep has been linked to higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and it impairs mood and concentration, making it even harder for teens to cope with the demands placed on them.
To improve your child’s resilience, discourage pulling “all nighters” to complete homework or study for tests. The more consistent the bedtime is, the easier it will be for her to fall asleep on time. Talk to your teen about practicing good sleep hygiene, too. Highlight the negative effects that blue light can have on sleep quality, and ask her to commit to at least an hour of “screen free” time before bed each night. Make sure she does her homework at a desk and not in bed. (The bed should be associated with sleep only.)
3. Make regular exercise a part of your teen’s schedule.
Exercise is a beneficial outlet for kids of all ages, because it provides a natural release for frustration and increases the circulation of “feel good” hormones, like dopamine and serotonin. Exercising early in the day is also associated with a significant improvement in sleep quality, because being active in daylight regulates the body’s sleep-wake cycle. For best results, make sure your teen gets at least an hour of physical activity three to five days per week. Let her choose the type of activity she enjoys; running, walking, playing sports, and even doing outdoor chores are all effective ways to increase physical activity.
4. Help your teen develop stress management skills
Sit down with your teen and discuss what triggers her stress, so that she’s better equipped to recognize her feelings when they occur and learn to manage stress accordingly. Then, outline which stress triggers can be avoided, and devise strategies to deal with stressors that can’t be avoided. Many teens benefit from having a “stress-free zone” where they can retreat and quietly listen to music or engage in a calming hobby. You may also suggest methods of deep relaxation, like meditation or yoga, to help your teen unwind.
5. Be emotionally available for your teen.
Remind your teen that you’re always there to talk to if she feels anxious or overwhelmed, but don’t pressure her to talk about what’s bothering her before she’s ready. When your teen does confide in you, focus on being an attentive listener first and foremost. Don’t lecture your teen, minimize her stress, or judge her choices, and ask permission before giving advice.
Teens often find it easier to open up if they’re provided with regular opportunities to socialize one-on-one with a parent. Going for walks or drives with your teen, or engaging in a shared hobby, is a great way to facilitate communication without making your teen feel put on the spot.
Adolescence is a challenging time of life, but it’s also a period of intense growth that can be profoundly rewarding for parents and children alike. Learning how to cope with stress during adolescence will give your teen the tools she needs to enjoy a balanced, fulfilling adult life. Sharing the journey of stress management with your teen will also help you become more aware of how you handle stress, leading to benefits for the whole family.
