The news that your child has an eating disorder is something no parent wants to hear. Unfortunately, all too often, this revelation comes as a complete surprise. Not all eating disorders are marked by sudden, dramatic weight loss, and in many cases, the patient manages to hide her (or his) condition for months or even years. This delays treatment and ultimately makes recovery more challenging. Sometimes, the person suffering from an eating disorder isn’t even aware that they have one. To protect and guide your child, you’ll therefore need to learn how to recognize the various signs of disordered eating.
6 Signs that Your Child Might Have an Eating Disorder
Eating disorders can affect children of all genders, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds, so noticing the behaviours described below in any child is a cause for concern. Eating disorders often develop slowly, so your child may display only a few symptoms at first, or display them mildly. It’s important to recognize and observe any dysfunctional patterns that are forming in your child’s relationship with food, even if they’re still subtle. Unhealthy habits that last longer than a few weeks should always be taken seriously, even if your child hasn’t lost (or gained) a significant amount of weight.
1. Your child appears to be emotionally detached or “numb.”
Eating disorders often involve a certain amount of dissociation; sufferers frequently report feeling like a “zombie” or “zoned out.” They sometimes even feel as though they’re watching themselves from a distance, unable to stop themselves from engaging in behaviours they know are irrational. If your child seems unusually distant or like she’s operating on autopilot, you should try to ascertain what caused her demeanour to change. Aside from disordered eating, possible causes of depersonalization include depression, dissociative disorders, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.
2. Your child is uncomfortable with her body.
Body image issues aren’t the cause of all eating disorders; the roots of disordered eating often lie in anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, trauma, or another aspect of the sufferer’s emotional life. Still, body image issues can certainly contribute to disordered eating, and this link is particularly prevalent among young women. If your daughter constantly calls herself “fat” or criticizes specific body parts (like her stomach or thighs), that’s a clear sign that something is amiss. Another sign of body image issues is refusing to wear form-fitting clothing, even in situations where it’s acceptable and practical: For example, refusing to wear a swimsuit at the beach, or not wearing a T-shirt and shorts in very hot weather.
Even if your child’s body image issues aren’t accompanied by food restriction, you should encourage her to see a therapist. Left untreated, body image issues could lead to an eating disorder later in life; they can also contribute to poor self-esteem and unhealthy relationship choices.
3. The way your child reacts to food has become more negative.
Does your child regularly express guilt or regret after eating high-calorie foods? Does she voice concern about “getting fat” even after eating a normal portion of food? Fears like these are often the first step towards restriction or cycles of binging and purging.
Other signs of anxiety around food include being unwilling to eat in public places or in front of friends and family members. Finally, certain eating disorders (usually binge eating disorder or bulimia) are associated with a tendency to hide food or lie about food consumption. If you regularly find numerous candy wrappers or empty chip bags under your child’s bed, for instance, that could indicate a problem.
4. Your child has developed strict “food rules.”
Food restriction doesn’t always take the form of outright starvation, especially in the early stages of an eating disorder. Your child might begin by declaring certain foods off-limits, while still eating “acceptable” foods in normal amounts. Over time, however, the list of acceptable foods tends to grow shorter, which can leave your child at risk of malnutrition.
Note that sometimes, those with eating disorders use a newfound interest in healthy eating to mask their need to control their food intake. While healthy eating should be encouraged, if your child appears panicked by the prospect of eating anything “unhealthy” (even rarely and in moderation), you should discuss what’s really driving her choices.
5. Your child displays signs of perfectionism or has a diagnosed mental health condition.
Research has shown that perfectionists and “high achievers” are at greater risk of developing an eating disorder than their more relaxed peers. Other risk factors for developing an eating disorder include having obsessive compulsive disorder, chronic anxiety, depression, and attention deficit disorder. Not everyone with these conditions will develop an eating disorder, of course, but it’s important to look out for changes in food consumption when you know your child is already struggling with mental health or learning difficulties.
6. You have a gut feeling that something isn’t right about your child’s relationship with food.
Parents can often sense when something is “off” about their child’s eating habits. However, they frequently second-guess themselves and disregard their initial feelings. As a parent, it’s easy to assume that you’re worrying too much, or that your child is just going through a “phase,” especially if your child hasn’t lost a worrying amount of weight. Still, it’s vital to recognize that any level of disordered eating can cause significant distress, even if little or no weight loss occurs.
If you suspect that your child has difficulties with food or body image, don’t confront her aggressively about the matter—but do connect her with a trained mental health professional. The earlier she gets help, the less likely it becomes that her issues will grow in severity. Though eating disorders can become very serious, they’re also highly treatable when caught in their early stages.
