Though childhood is portrayed as a carefree time, the day-to-day lives of our kids are often more stressful than we realize. At the same time kids are learning to function independently in the world, they must work hard to get good grades, make friends, and deal with social pressures (both online and offline). Children may also become anxious about global issues and current events, just like adults.
Sharing your favourite calming strategies with your child or teen can help her relax, unwind, and maintain better energy and concentration levels throughout the day. Teaching your child to be more centered and mindful will also give her the tools she needs to manage stress as an adult. In the guide below, you’ll learn how to adjust popular stress relief practices to reflect your child’s stage of development.
Relaxation Strategies for Young Children
Young children have high energy levels and short attention spans, so they don’t usually benefit from relaxation techniques that require a lot of time or focus. To encourage toddlers and kindergarteners to adopt healthy habits, you’ll need to incorporate sound and movement into stress management activities, and keep activities brief. Try these simple tips to help your young child relax:
Turn relaxation into a game.
Relaxation techniques should never be used as a punishment or treated like a chore. Instead, you should present these activities to your child as fun, helpful ways to keep her mind and body feeling good.
To keep your child engaged, set a time limit for activities (for example, ask your toddler to meditate for one minute) and rotate between multiple activities. Pay close attention to your child’s level of focus and stop the session as soon as she appears to be losing interest.
Reward systems can also be useful for keeping kids on track: Schedule one relaxation session per day, and give your child a small reward (like a sticker) every time she successfully completes an activity.
Teach your child deep breathing exercises.
Deep breathing exercises are a great introduction to mindfulness because even very young children can easily learn this technique. To teach deep breathing, tell your child to imagine her stomach is a balloon, then ask her to slowly inflate and deflate the balloon by inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. If possible, get her to repeat this exercise five times.
Let your child know that deep breathing can be used any time she feel stressed, frustrated, or anxious. Explain that it will help her body calm down and feel good again.
Play your child’s favourite music.
Music - and dancing - are excellent mood elevators and stress relievers. To help your child become more immersed in music, take turns singing parts of her favourite songs, or try synchronizing dance moves with specific notes. Music is also proven to increase child's IQ and facilitate brain development.
Take walks outside.
Spending time outdoors has been shown to relieve stress and improve mental resilience. To make sure your child enjoys these benefits, try taking a short walk with her in a natural area at least once per day. While you’re there, help her appreciate the details of her surroundings by pointing out different kinds of plants, insects, or birds.
Encourage your child to take “stretch breaks.”
Taking stretch breaks during homework and other sedentary activities (e.g., while playing video games) can reduce muscle tension and alleviate mental fatigue. Show your child how to roll her head around gently (from side to side and from front to back) with her eyes closed, and let her know she should use this exercise at least once every hour when she’s sitting down.
Smile often.
Smiling at your child - and encouraging her to smile at others - can boost the levels of “feel good” hormones in her body and lower anxiety. Teach your child to greet people she knows with a smile and wave, and make sure you do the same. (Your child will naturally learn to emulate your behaviour.)
Make humour a part of your everyday life.
When it comes to managing stress, laughter really is the best medicine. Laughter releases endorphins, improves circulation, and relaxes the muscles, creating instant stress relief.
To add more laughter to your life, try telling jokes at the dinner table or making up funny stories or games with your kids. You can also watch funny YouTube videos or movies together during family nights, or read your child amusing bedtime stories.
Ask what your child’s school is doing to help students manage stress.
Schools are increasingly incorporating stress management techniques into their curriculums to address rising levels of childhood anxiety. Ask your child’s school what kind of relaxation services they offer to students, whether it’s daily meditation sessions, yoga during gym class, or the ability to take short breaks during class, as needed. If your child’s school isn’t actively employing stress management techniques, you may want to suggest adopting these strategies.
Relaxation Methods for Teens
Teens can handle longer, more complex activities than young children, and they often need to spend more time managing their stress. Rates of both depression and anxiety have been steadily rising in adolescents since the early 2000s, and today, it’s estimated that nearly one in three teens will develop an anxiety disorder before age 18. For this reason, it’s extremely important to talk to your family doctor or a mental health professional if you think your teen is showing signs of clinical anxiety. For milder forms of stress, the strategies below can be very helpful:
Suggest relaxation activities suited to your teen’s interests and attention span.
While teens have a much better ability to focus than small children, they don’t have the same attention span as an adult. You should therefore increase the time spent on sedentary practices (like meditation) gradually, and don’t push your teen to sit still longer than she wants to. If your teen prefers being active, long walks, yoga sessions, or dancing may be better ways to unwind than meditating.
Listen to your teen’s suggestions.
Adolescents have an extremely strong desire to be heard and recognized. Your teen will be much more motivated to maintain healthy habits if you listen attentively to her ideas about how to manage stress and live mindfully. You should also be willing to try your teen’s suggestions and allow her to direct activities. For example, if you and your teen regularly meditate together, you might consider taking turns guiding sessions.
Look for apps.
Limiting your teen’s screen time has powerful anxiety reduction benefits, but as any parent knows, this is often easier said than done. Sometimes, suggesting the use of relaxation and meditation apps provides a more practical way to manage screen time (by turning digital devices into a source of strength rather than stress). To get your teen on board with this approach, ask for her help finding an app that really appeals to her.
Consider signing up for classes.
Taking part in classes can teach your teen relaxing new skills (e.g., gardening or pottery) that she’ll carry into adulthood. Participating in local community classes will also expand your teen’s social circle, which will help her cope with peer pressure, bullying, and other social difficulties at school.
Making enough time to relax can be difficult, but it’s important that we educate our kids and teens about the value of this practice. Adopting stress management techniques early in life will prepare your child to deal with the challenges of our increasingly complex, hyper-informed society. You’ll also give her the tools she needs to enjoy a happy, peaceful personal life in adulthood and cope with the demands of her chosen profession.
