Like adults, kids often feel overwhelmed by the many commitments, choices, and interpersonal situations they must manage each day. Research suggests that school-aged children also experience significant anxiety resulting from global crises, such as the pandemic and climate change. Unfortunately, kids have far fewer tools for dealing with chronic stress than adults. Likewise, their still-developing brains are highly susceptible to damage from periods of sustained fear, anger, or sadness. To stay mentally and emotionally healthy, kids need guidance from their parents to help buffer the effects of stress. The regular use of relaxation strategies can also improve a child's ability to concentrate and solve complex problems, which leads to better social and academic outcomes. In this article, we’ll outline some easy, age-appropriate techniques you can use to help your child manage stress and become more mindful.
Relaxation Practices For Use With Younger Children
As any parent knows, getting small children to sit still for more than a few minutes can be extremely challenging. Helping toddlers and younger school-aged kids relax therefore requires incorporating sound, movement, and novelty into mindfulness techniques, along with keeping activities brief. Some tips for sharing relaxation practices with younger kids are as follows:
- Make relaxation fun. Never force your child to practice relaxation exercises. Instead, look for ways to turn them into a game and pay attention to your child’s level of engagement. If he (or she) appears to be losing interest in an activity, switch to another one or end the session. Remember, too, that laughter is one of the best ways to relax. Playing funny age-appropriate videos for your child, making funny faces in the mirror, singing silly songs, or making up lighthearted stories, for example, are all valid ways to alleviate tension and help your child stay grounded in the present.
- Keep it quick. As a general rule, kids gain two to three minutes of attention span per year; a two-year-old will have roughly a four to six-minute attention span, whereas a four-year-old can focus for eight to 12 minutes, and so on. For best results, choose several one or two-minute calming activities so you can switch them around to hold your child’s interest, and plan sessions so they fit within the limits of his (or her) concentration.
- Practice deep breathing. Deep breathing is a simple yet effective way to relax, and it's suitable for people of all ages. Teach your child to inhale slowly through his nose until his belly and lungs fill with air, then exhale gradually through his mouth. (Some kids find it helpful to count to three between breaths to maintain the correct pace.) Instruct your child to take several deep breaths whenever he begins to feel anxious, angry, or upset.
- Take walks. Being mindful of our surroundings doesn’t necessarily mean having to sit still. Many children find it easier to appreciate the world around them while their bodies are active, so taking short walks several times per week is an excellent way to improve your child’s physical and emotional health. During these walks, ask your child to name how many different colours she can see or, for an older child, how many types of plants or flowers she can identify.
- Listen to music with your child. Dancing or singing along to music provides instant stress relief for most children, and it’s something even toddlers can do with ease.
- Teach your child to take stretch breaks. Focusing for long periods, such as while studying, can cause mental fatigue. When kids feel mentally drained, they are more susceptible to becoming irritable and anxious. In addition to helping your child maintain a healthy work-life balance, teach him to take a stretch break every 30 minutes when he’s doing homework. Demonstrate how to relax neck muscles by first rolling the head around, then moving it from side to side and back to front. This stretching technique prevents neck strain and headaches while increasing blood flow to the brain.
- Look for relaxation resources at school. Check to see if your child’s school offers yoga, meditation sessions, or stress management coaching. If these resources aren’t available, consider how you could help initiate such programs.
Finally, don’t forget to lead by example. Young children learn a lot about managing stress from watching how their parents stay calm and solve problems. Handling negative emotions constructively and incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily life is an excellent way to model healthy coping skills for your child.
Relaxation Practices for Older Children and Teens
Many relaxation practices that work for younger children are also helpful for older kids and teens. As your child gets older, however, you should gradually increase the length and complexity of activities to reflect their abilities. Some tips for helping an older child or teen relax include:
- Align activities with your child’s interests. If your son or daughter finds meditation particularly helpful, for example, consider introducing longer, guided meditation sessions. If your teen prefers being active, try yoga instead. For creative kids, art or journaling can provide significant stress relief.
- Ask for your teen’s input. Engage your teen’s desire to be heard and valued by asking for his (or her) opinions about what works to relieve stress and stay mindful. Then, incorporate your teen’s suggestions into the relaxation practices you both use. You can also encourage your teen to take turns leading activities with you.
- Look for apps. As digital natives, teens are typically excellent at finding and using mobile apps for stress management. Ask your child to help you find the best apps for meditation, relaxation, and scheduling study or work breaks.
- Take a class together. If your child has a particular interest in yoga, meditation, or another area related to relaxation, suggest taking a class on that subject to deepen his (or her) knowledge. Or, if your child doesn’t have time to attend weekly classes, check social media or your local library or community centre to see if there are any upcoming wellness events planned.
When to Get Help For Adolescent Anxiety
Unfortunately, anxiety in teens is becoming increasingly common, with as many as one in three teens experiencing an anxiety disorder before age 18. Rates of adolescent depression are also rising. Behavioural changes such as social withdrawal, mood swings, problems sleeping, or a sudden drop in grades may indicate that your child is struggling with more than just daily stress. If your teen exhibits any of these symptoms for longer than a few weeks, they should discuss their mental health with a doctor, in addition to using strategies like meditation and mindfulness at home. In many cases, timely therapy can prevent adolescent anxiety from becoming a chronic problem and give your child the tools needed to live a peaceful, fulfilling life.
