Mindfulness is a concept which has, in recent decades, received quite a lot of attention both from mental health professionals and within the media. Mindfulness is generally defined as a process wherein an individual learns to pay focused, mindful attention to his or her internal and external experiences, and so becomes more aware of the present moment. He or she is also taught to accept these experiences without judgment, to embrace them and the emotions they bring.
This has a range of positive implications; it facilitates emotional self-awareness, which in turn allows people to better moderate their behavior and recognize dysfunctional ingrained patterns. It also aids in the release of negative emotions which might otherwise compound, alleviating tension. This effect is so powerful that mindfulness training is now used to manage stress, treat chronic pain, anxiety disorders, depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and addiction. According to most experts, mindfulness exercises can help even those who lack mental health issues; nearly everyone who practices mindfulness reports going on to live a happier, healthier, and more productive life.
Despite all these profound and far-reaching benefits, however, mindfulness therapy has been applied almost exclusively to adults—even though its core concepts are relevant at any age, and good habits are often at their most effective when learned young. Fortunately, there's a lot parents can do to begin to rectify this oversight; with a bit of research, the basics of mindfulness can easily be taught at home.
Mindfulness in Children: Navigating the Conundrum
To teach mindfulness to children we must first understand the contradictions which surround the experience; children are both naturally more mindful than adults in some ways, and less so in others.
Children tend to be far more immersed in the moment than adults are; as they are experiencing so many things for the first time, they take each experience in deeply, without being so chronically distracted by the weight of the past or concerns about the future. Anyone who has ever seen a baby touch snow for the first time, or watched a small child savour the first bite of an enthralling new dessert, knows that children lose themselves in the present in a way that many adults typically do not.
Conversely, children struggle with a lack of emotional insight thanks to this same inexperience (coupled with having a brain that is still developing), something which makes them more reactive and less able to moderate their behaviour. They also deal with a great deal of imposed structure—people constantly telling them what to do, where to be, etc.—which results in both distraction from their natural desire to focus on the present and a lack of agency which may cause them to begin to operate on “autopilot” in much the same way many adults do. (This is why, in some cases, simply applying more rules and discipline to an unruly child does little to stop his or her difficult behaviour; the child's problem is often not a lack of structure so much as a lack of the tools needed to emotionally self-regulate.)
In addition to helping difficult or troubled children to change problematic and aggressive behaviours, mindfulness training can propel children to overcome attentional issues (thereby improving their ability to remember information) and to become more confident. We must remember that children are constantly concerned with whether they are being “good” or “bad” in the eyes of adults, which often causes them to begin to judge their emotions rather than accept them, leading to self-doubt.
The Five Steps to Mindfulness
While the basic tenets of teaching mindfulness to children differ little from the model used for adults, revolving around exercises which focus on building an awareness of the external environment, the self in the environment, and an awareness of the body, techniques for teaching mindfulness to children must reflect what being a child is like. Children think in a more literal and concrete way than adults, and as such, mindfulness exercises should be designed with clarity and direct simplicity in mind, especially if one is working with younger children. Activities which require prolonged focus in adults, such as meditation, should be modified to suit a child's attention span; typically, meditation should go on for no longer than five minutes.
In general, it's best to begin teaching children mindfulness starting with activities that focus on creating an awareness of the external environment, then gradually move attention to the realm of internal, cognitive awareness. Don't be afraid to ask the children involved for input—the better they can relate to the process, the more effective it will be. Some suggestions for child-appropriate mindfulness exercises are outlined below:
1. Object Awareness: Make it clear from the outset that this activity is not about judging the child's ability to draw, then ask the child to select an object to draw (e.g. a shoe, a telephone). Encourage the child to spend time looking at the object that he or she chooses, noting all the small details of it while drawing. Additionally, one can ask the child to spend some time looking at the object again without drawing it, before later asking him or her to do a second drawing of it and compare the two. The second drawing will almost always be more lifelike, providing the child with a tangible example of the benefits of mindfulness.
2. Environment awareness: Prepare a fun activity (or have your children prepare it with you) in which playing “pretend” is a feature, with the goal of having the child notice both the environment and his or her interactions with it. For example, you may have the child pretend to be a newspaper reporter for a day, and then have him or her write down what he or she experiences and observes throughout the day (again, even small or seemingly mundane details should be considered relevant, such as the child's morning routine). This kind of activity is most effective if repeated over a sequence of days, if the child is willing; this way, the child can be encouraged to gradually add more and more detail. (Note that if your child is young, he or she may ask you to handle the writing aspect of this activity; feel free to oblige.)
3. Body awareness: Self-awareness begins with an increased awareness of the physical body, both through the senses and through its movement. For the first step in this activity, have the child handle an object (a piece of food, such as a raisin, works well) and then instruct the child—in a slow, calm voice—to focus on the raisin, handling it first with his or her fingers while paying attention to its texture and colour. The child should be instructed to focus on the thoughts he or she is having about the raisin, before finally being directed to smell and taste it, noticing each physical sensation along the way (the movement of the arm, the mouth beginning to water, etc.) until swallowing. If the child is willing, repeat this process once or twice. Next, have the child walk around the room as softly as possible, as if sneaking somewhere or walking on eggshells, noticing each feeling and sensation. Feel free to play some music to help create a sense of atmosphere and allow the child to imagine a scenario which encourages engagement in the activity. Ask the child to pay attention to whether or not his or her mind wanders and take note of stray thoughts.
4. Cognitive awareness: Create a “child-friendly” variant of the classic meditation technique that is meditating on the breath. Start by demonstrating a deep breath with a slow exhale, then ask the child to do the same while you speak about the sensations involved: Cool air entering the nose, the chest expanding, warm air leaving gradually. To keep the child focused, have the child count each breath aloud during the activity, counting to a total of five breaths. Make sure the child allows the breaths to flow naturally rather than forcing them or rushing.
5. Emotional awareness: This final activity aims to show children how to notice and accept their thoughts and feelings rather than resisting them or being ruled by them. Have the child sit in a comfortable upright position and ask him or her to imagine bubbles slowly rising upwards. Tell the child that each bubble contains a thought, feeling, or perception, then ask him or her to observe what is inside each bubble (without judging it) before letting it float away. Let the child continue this exercise in silence for a few moments so that he or she can completely focus on the thoughts.
As a final note, when encouraging children to practice the above exercises, integrating mindfulness into their everyday lives, make sure that they understand the focus should be on cultivating greater awareness, not on going through the motions (as when practicing playing an instrument). With the correct approach, over time, mindfulness will become not simply a temporary way of thinking or feeling, but rather a peaceful, cognizant state of being.
