Your child’s first impression of school sets the tone for the rest of his academic life. Research shows that children who have positive experiences after beginning school enjoy a healthier social life and a stronger academic record, whereas enduring negative experiences is associated with poorer performance and less enriching peer relationships.
The most difficult aspect of beginning school is how disruptive it can feel for kids. Having to give up their familiar lifestyle and routine, entering a strange environment, and taking on new responsibilities can feel immensely stressful for kids who aren’t adequately prepared to make this transition. Whether your child is anxious about starting school or feeling eager and excited, taking steps to help him adjust to his new schedule can therefore go a long way towards ensuring his future success.
In the post below, we’ll discuss parenting strategies you can use to build the skills your child needs to thrive at school:
6 Steps to Get Your Child Ready to Start School
1. Describe what going to school is like.
Your child will be less anxious about starting school if he can visualize and anticipate what to expect along the way. Talk to your child about the steps he’ll need to take each day, such as packing the correct items in his knapsack, getting on the bus (or in the car with you) to travel to school, and learning in a classroom environment.
If your child’s school allows it, arrange a visit to the premises before the school year officially begins. Having a tour of his new school will give your child a chance to familiarize himself with the building and grounds, so they won’t feel so intimidating on his first day. You can even help your child rehearse for his first day of school by having him pack his knapsack before leaving for his tour.
2. Encourage your child to discuss school with his siblings and friends.
Most kids share common concerns about beginning school. Talking to siblings and friends can alleviate your child’s worries by giving him a sense of shared camaraderie: He’ll realize that other children have had the same worries and questions he does, so he isn’t alone in his experiences. Ideally, you should encourage your child to speak to other children who’ve had largely positive experiences at school.
3. Give your child ample opportunities to work on his social skills.
Going to school is a daunting social transition: For the first time, your child will need to regularly interact with other children without your direct supervision. To help him make a good impression on his classmates, spend the summer rehearsing proper manners at home. Teach your child to say “please” and “thank you” when he wants something, encourage him to remain seated while eating, and help him practise using the correct cutlery. You should also emphasize the importance of thorough hand-washing after using the bathroom and before meals. When you see your child implementing these habits, remember to praise him.
There are also steps you can take to prepare your child to make, and keep, strong friendships. Let your child know that many of his peers will probably be feeling shy and unsure on their first day of school. He may therefore need to initiate interaction himself by greeting others with a smile and a friendly “hello,” then he can ask the child he’s greeted if he or she wants to play or sit together at lunch.
Over the summer, look for occasions where your child can practice socializing with other children, especially kids he doesn’t know well. Ideally, find group activities where your child will be exposed to kids from many different cultures and walks of life. If your child is shy around strangers, support him by giving him tips on how to reach out to other kids, or suggest activities he might initiate to break the ice.
4. Establish a consistent routine.
During July and August, slowly adjust your child’s schedule so it aligns with the hours he’ll be keeping for school. Your child should wake up each day at the time he’ll need to start getting ready for school, eat lunch during his school’s lunch hour, and go to bed on time to be refreshed for the school day. You should also begin setting aside “one on one” time at the end of each day, so your child can review the day’s events, ask questions, and express any worries he has. This will get him into the habit of reflecting on the challenges he’s facing, sharing his feelings, and devising potential solutions - all key skills that will build his resilience as he navigates the school year.
5. Get everything organized.
Having the right equipment will reassure your child that he’s prepared to start school. To give your child a sense of autonomy and control, invite him to participate in shopping for school supplies. Help him make a list of what he’ll need (if he can’t write well yet, allow him to draw pictures of items instead), then ask him which items he can find around the house, and which you’ll need to buy. When you go shopping for school supplies, get your child’s input on which items match his tastes. Finally, don’t forget to label your child’s clothing, lunch box, and other important personal belongings with his name. Labels give kids a sense of ownership and authority over their property, and they’ll help your child remember which items belong to him.
Look for signs of anxiety, and listen attentively to your child’s fears.
Not all kids are open about how the prospect of going to school makes them feel. Some children show their anxiety by going quiet when the subject of school is brought up, while others act out more frequently as the first day of school approaches, or exhibit symptoms like reduced appetite and insomnia. If you identify these symptoms of anxiety in your child, try asking gentle, open-ended questions to help him explore his feelings. When your child does open up, listen attentively, without interrupting him.
For some kids, the act of venting is enough to help them feel better, while others need additional reassurance to set their mind at ease. If your child still seems concerned after talking, ask him if he has any ideas about how to manage the issues he’s worried about. You can also teach your child to identify signs of anxiety in himself and use deep breathing, time-outs, and positive self-talk to stay calm. Some kids find comfort in being reminded that their teacher will always be there to help if they need anything, too.
Preparing your child to embrace the challenges that accompany formal education will help him develop the confidence, social skills, and emotional resilience needed to adapt to all of life’s big transitions. With your ongoing support, your child will embrace lifelong learning with enthusiasm and curiosity while unlocking his full personal and intellectual potential.
