The idea that gifted kids can be at-risk comes as a surprise to many parents and educators; however, there’s substantial evidence showing that these children face unique (and sometimes daunting) challenges. Because giftedness is a form of asynchronous development, gifted children often struggle to reconcile their advanced intellectual abilities with their age-appropriate motor and social skills, resulting in frustration and self-doubt. They must also cope with heightened sensitivity and emotional intensity, which can make the standard ups and downs of childhood feel overwhelming. Research shows that the issues presented by asynchronous development tend to increase in scope and magnitude the more intellectually gifted a child is.
Without understanding and support, gifted kids face an increased risk of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, along with social and academic problems. Currently, experts estimate that up to 1 in 50 gifted kids drop out of school, while many more fail to live up to their full academic potential.
Below, we’ll review the most common difficulties experienced by gifted kids and provide helpful tips for limiting their impact:
5 Problems Gifted Kids May Face – And How to Help Them
1. Self-esteem issues.
Not only do gifted kids have to live with the stigma of being “different,” but their sensitivity can also make them appear vulnerable. In combination, these two factors increase the likelihood of being bullied or rejected by peers, both of which are highly damaging to a child’s self-esteem. Furthermore, studies show that the risk of self-esteem problems rises along with a child’s level of intellectual ability, suggesting a clear link between asynchronous development and social and emotional issues.
Some signs your child may be struggling with low self-esteem include negative self-talk, frequent mood swings, and an aversion to trying new things. Because many gifted kids naturally have intense moods and a tendency to be self-critical, these symptoms can be hard to identify. Talking to a professional, such as your child’s teacher, a guidance counselor, or a therapist, can help you differentiate between low self-esteem and emotional intensity.
To prevent low self-esteem, support your child engaging in pretend play with other kids while he (or she) is still young. Pretend play builds a broad range of social and emotional skills, which will help your gifted child better align his interpersonal abilities with his cognitive capacity. Likewise, pretend play presents the perfect opportunity for your gifted child’s lively imagination to shine.
When your child is older, encourage him to enroll in a sport of his choice to continue enhancing his teamwork skills. Athletics also build confidence in an area that isn’t related to intellectual ability, which can buffer the impact of academic setbacks and help gifted kids develop a more well-rounded identity.
2. Perfectionism.
Many gifted children have an innate drive to achieve, and in moderation, this quality can be one of their greatest strengths. Problems arise, however, when a gifted child starts to rely on his status as the “smart kid” to support his self-esteem and self-image. Kids who feel this way may become overly competitive in an effort to prove their intelligence, or they might work to the point of exhaustion in pursuit of perfect grades. They’re also susceptible to questioning their intelligence whenever they don’t master a new skill immediately. This attitude can cause them to give up on projects prematurely and avoid trying new things, thereby limiting their potential. Over the long term, perfectionism is associated with an increased risk of burnout, anxiety, and depression.
Help your child form realistic expectations by reminding him that being gifted doesn’t mean being good at everything. Gifted kids have strengths and weaknesses, just like other children do, and there will be times when your child struggles with a particular task or subject. The idea that gifted kids always get straight A’s in every class is a myth.
You should also pay special attention to building your child’s resilience. Avoid criticizing or correcting your child every time he makes a minor mistake, and teach him to persevere and keep trying when he isn’t immediately good at something. Praise your child for things he can control (like the decision to try again after failing), not for things he can’t control (such as his innate level of talent or intelligence).
3. Emotional and sensory sensitivity.
Like other types of neurodivergence, being gifted can affect a child’s ability to “filter out” excess stimuli, including sights, sounds, smells, and touch. Many gifted children are also highly empathetic, to the point of being extremely distracted (or distressed) by the feelings of others. (This can include being deeply affected by news stories or global crises, like world hunger.)
In some kids (particularly younger kids), the heightened responses that accompany hypersensitivity can be hard to distinguish from behaviour problems. Gifted children may fidget because they’re uncomfortable, resist participating in social events due to noise aversion, throw tantrums because they feel overwhelmed, etc. Before assuming that your child is being “difficult,” look for things like bright lights, loud sounds, or strong smells that could be acting as triggers. Working with your child to identify sources of sensory overload can help you find ways to keep him comfortable and reinforce his ability to self-soothe.
To help your child manage his emotional sensitivity, teach him how to set healthy boundaries from a young age. Make sure he knows that he isn’t responsible for others’ feelings, and that it’s vital to take time to look after himself, too. Many gifted children also benefit from being allowed to volunteer in a position related to an issue they’re passionate about (for example, planting trees to help mitigate the impact of climate change).
4. Boredom at school.
Boredom at school frequently leads to underachievement in gifted students, particularly during adolescence. Gifted adolescents often become frustrated knowing they could complete their work much faster at home, leaving more time to pursue other interests. In essence, school begins to feel like a waste of time, and this may be true even for students enrolled in specialized gifted programs.
Increasing academic engagement in gifted adolescents is challenging, and the approach you choose should be tailored to your child’s learning style and level of emotional maturity. Some evidence suggests that accelerated learning can significantly reduce boredom (and help gifted teens reach their full potential). However, because fast-tracking your child’s education may expose him to older children, it’s crucial to ensure your child’s social skills are sufficiently developed before you go this route. Otherwise, your child could be especially vulnerable to bullying and peer pressure.
If accelerated learning isn’t right for your child, a combination of classroom accommodations and gifted program enrollment may be suitable. For example, some gifted kids benefit from being allowed to doodle during lectures because combining multiple actions (drawing and listening) engages more areas of the brain, which reduces boredom. Other ideas might include permitting the child to complete homework if he finishes a lesson early, so he doesn’t feel like he’s wasting time sitting in class. Alternatively, your child may benefit from having the opportunity to mentor other kids during class.
5. Problems with attention and organization.
Gifted kids are often stereotyped as being exceptionally focused and organized, but this isn’t always the case. Many gifted kids struggle with inattention and disorganization, in part because they’re abstract thinkers and in part because they have many diverse interests competing for their attention. It’s also very common for a child to be gifted and have ADHD, a state known as being “twice exceptional.”
Just as you would give any other child tools for staying on track, you should identify your gifted child’s areas of weakness and help him plan around them. For instance, if your child tends to procrastinate or underestimate the amount of time needed for projects, help him break large tasks down into smaller chunks. Then, work together to develop a realistic timeline for the project. If your child frequently loses track of his commitments (or over-commits himself), give him a written agenda so he can keep a record of assignments and extracurricular activities.
If standard study aids fail to address your child’s attentional or organization problems, seek an evaluation from a qualified professional to confirm or rule out ADHD. Note that because giftedness can partially “mask” the signs of ADHD, your child may not display typical ADHD symptoms, such as overt hyperactivity or disruptive behaviour. Instead, his grades might not align with his level of ability, or he might find it almost impossible to concentrate on some subjects while also tending to “hyperfocus” on areas of interest. For this reason, you should pursue evaluation based on attentional issues alone, even if your child doesn’t “act like” he has ADHD.
As a final note, because being gifted comes with emotional, social, and academic challenges, you should also make sure your child has a well-developed support network. In addition to providing a supportive environment at home, look for opportunities for your child to socialize with other gifted children. Being surrounded by like-minded peers can reduce your child’s sense of isolation and alienation, along with keeping him mentally engaged. Similarly, your child should have access to a therapist who has extensive experience working with the gifted. Therapy will give him a safe space to address his emotional needs and learn coping strategies to manage the difficulties posed by asynchronous development.
