With as busy as most parents are, it’s easy to overlook the many small opportunities we have to strengthen our relationship with our kids. Fortunately, building a solid, trusting bond with your child doesn’t require hours of research or complex parenting techniques. Instead, as is the case with any relationship, the parent-child connection thrives on consistent positive attention. Implementing the seven simple tips outlined below can substantially improve the quality of interactions with your child:
1. Make dinner a family occasion.
Sharing meals has been a core part of human bonding for millennia, and research supports carrying on this tradition today. Eating at least one meal per day with your child can boost her health and confer important developmental benefits. Numerous studies have shown that taking part in regular family meals can improve kids’ eating habits by encouraging them to choose more nutritious foods. Eating together also promotes the development of strong social skills, including empathy and language skills. This translates into better behaviour and, in many cases, enhanced academic performance.
If you can’t eat dinner with your kids every day due to work obligations or extracurricular activities, try to fit in a meal together at another time. Even having a snack with your child before bed can be an enriching experience, provided the occasion is relaxed and enjoyable.
2. Spend a bit of time catching up before bed.
The lull in activity that occurs before bedtime provides a great opportunity to talk to your child about her day. Asking her how her day went—what was good about it, what was bad about it, etc.—will show her that you care and prompt her to reflect on her own feelings. Over the long term, this will build better self-awareness.
Once your child is done sharing her experiences, talk to her about how your day went. Discuss problems you solved, achievements you were proud of, or moments where you acted on your core values. Sharing anecdotes like these will impart useful lessons while showing your child that you trust her and value her insight.
3. Don’t hesitate to play with your child.
Play, whether it takes the form of sharing a sport, playing a board game, or doing crafts together, is one of the best ways to connect with your child. Finding pastimes you and your child both enjoy can create the foundation for a lifelong bond based around common interests. Engaging in enjoyable parent-child activities can also help your child improve her motor skills and develop a better capacity for leadership and creative problem solving.
4. Hug and cuddle your child.
Regularly providing physical affection is one of the best ways to show your child that you love her. This is particularly true for kids under the age of five: Young children may not fully understand the significance of verbal affection. Hugging and cuddling can also improve immune function, boosting not only your child’s resistance to illness, but yours as well.
5. Always treat your child with respect.
It’s easy to get impatient when interacting with a small child, even if she isn’t misbehaving. Little kids are clumsy, do things slowly, and often make mistakes. Parents therefore have a tendency to interject and intervene in ways that can undermine their child’s confidence. Interrupting your child in order to correct her, for example, or finishing a task for her (when she wants to do it herself) shows a lack of respect for your child’s ideas and abilities. Over time, this can make your child feel self-conscious when she’s around you; it may also make her less likely to show respect for others.
Try to maintain respect for your child at all times, even when you’re stressed out, in a rush, etc. Let her finish her sentences, allow her to complete tasks independently (when she can do so safely), and communicate with her calmly and thoughtfully. Uphold a caring and patient tone when you have to discipline your child, too. Avoid raising your voice and don’t use corporal punishment. Taking these steps will help your child feel safe and accepted when she’s in your presence.
Note that teaching your child to use excellent manners from a young age can help facilitate mutual respect. Encourage your child to say “please” and “thank you” whenever it’s appropriate and do the same in return. Being polite with others is a simple way to regularly remind people that we value them.
6. Let your child help out around the house.
Doing chores is commonly depicted as a punishment or unwanted obligation, so it may surprise you to learn that most kids actually enjoy helping out around the house. This is particularly likely to be the case if a child is allowed to participate in household duties from a young age. Chores, like play, can boost core social skills. Likewise, contributing to the running of the household in a meaningful way makes kids feel valuable and competent. Just make sure to praise your child while she works; this way, she’ll know she’s doing a good job.
7. Surprise your child with unexpected affirmations.
Finding small ways to brighten your child’s day and remind her that you care can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Tucking a note into your child’s lunch box or baking her favourite treat on the weekend, for example, can be a powerful reminder of how much you care.
Practicing these seven parenting techniques won’t take a great deal of time out of your day, but they can add a lot to your life. Few things are as rewarding as building a healthy, lasting relationship with your child. A solid parent-child bond is an invaluable source of mutual support, love, and positive inspiration.
