Social media has become woven into the fabric of our everyday lives; it’s how we stay in touch with friends and family, network professionally, and keep abreast of current events. Because we rely so heavily on social media, trying to completely eliminate its usage is becoming an increasingly unrealistic endeavor, even for kids. Knowing how to stay safe on social media and set sensible boundaries is therefore more important than ever, and the younger your children are when you start teaching them these skills, the better off they’ll be.
Today’s parents weren’t raised with social media, so you’ll need to educate yourself about the dangers social media can pose to kids before you work on strategies to manage its risks. Then, you can pass your knowledge on to your children, along with effective techniques for identifying and avoiding online hazards.
What are the Risks of Social Media for Kids?
1. Privacy Breaches
Unfortunately, online predators are still a problem on social media, despite most platforms’ efforts to eradicate malicious users. Kids are also vulnerable to identity theft, just like adults are. For the safety of both yourself and your child, you should therefore familiarize yourself with the privacy settings on each of the platforms your family uses.
Whenever possible, make sure your child’s social media profiles are set to “private.” Teach your child to decline friend requests from people he doesn’t know and ask him to avoid sharing personal information online (especially his address and phone number).
2. Sexual Exploitation
Young people, especially young girls, are often pressured to share nude photographs or engage in other forms of “sexting.” Not only is sexting extremely inappropriate for kids and younger teens, this form of sexual exploitation often causes severe anxiety in victims, along with feelings of shame and depression. Furthermore, if a child is pressured into sharing explicit photographs by one of her peers, she may experience bullying at school as a result.
Your child needs to know that she should never feel pressured to share photographs of any kind, especially photographs of herself. She should also be aware that she can always turn to you for help if she’s being exploited: Tell your child that you won’t judge her or punish her if she’s victimized online.
3. Cyber Bullying
Cyber bullying starts earlier than most parents realize. Today, even kids in primary school may experience this insidious form of harassment. Cyber bullying can involve a child’s personal photos being shared without permission, verbal humiliation or threats, impersonation, hacking, or social exclusion.
Cyber bullying - in all of its forms - is every bit as psychologically harmful as physical or verbal abuse. Cyber bullying can be even more damaging in some ways, simply because kids feel like they can’t escape it, even in the safety of their own homes. As a parent, you need to take this form of harassment very seriously, learn how to recognize that it’s occurring, and connect your child with the resources he or she needs to cope with its toxic effects.
4. Depression and Anxiety
Even kids who don’t experience exploitation or harassment on social media may suffer from depression and anxiety linked to its use. Research shows that for preteens and younger teens (those under age 15) especially, social media can have a detrimental impact on mental health. Kids in this age group who use social media as little as one hour per day typically have a life satisfaction score that’s 14% lower than their same-age peers who don’t use social media, according to the report Social Media Use and Children’s Wellbeing. This decline in happiness is thought to arise from kids developing unrealistic standards (because they compare their lives to the highly curated lives of “influencers”) and paying less attention to face-to-face activities.
5. Addiction
Many social media platforms are designed to hold users’ attention and provide them with instant gratification, which promotes addiction. Not everyone who uses social media will become addicted to it (in fact, 34% of Gen Z say they’ve voluntarily chosen to leave social media), but you should still be aware that this risk exists. Common signs of social media addiction include becoming irritable or anxious when social media isn’t available, being constantly preoccupied with what’s happening online, and neglecting real-life responsibilities in favour of social media usage.
What Do Kids Need to Know About Using Social Media?
Without adult guidance, kids can’t recognize or plan for all of the risks inherent in social media usage, no matter how digitally savvy they are. Before your child starts posting her own content, make sure she knows the following facts:
1. A post is forever.
Kids (especially younger kids) don’t tend to think very far into the future. Your child may not understand that once she posts something, it can potentially remain on the internet forever. As such, you’ll need to teach her to think about how what she posts today could affect her tomorrow.
To illustrate this point, try asking your child how she’d feel if all of her friends could see something embarrassing from her past, such as the way she dressed several years ago. Then, ask her how she would feel if she knew that image could not be erased. Examples like these show kids that impulsively sharing personal information online can have unforeseen repercussions.
To help your child make wise choices in what she shares, suggest waiting a few hours before posting something, especially if she isn’t sure how she’ll feel about the post in a year’s time.
2. Bullying comes in many forms.
Make sure your child is aware of the many different manifestations of cyber bullying, especially its more subtle forms. Let your child know that sharing others’ privately-posted photos and copying others’ content, for example, are types of online bullying. You should also ask your child to talk to you whenever she feels uncomfortable with something she’s witnessed online, no matter how minor it seems. Identifying cyber bullying early is the best way to limit its damaging effects.
3. Empathy is important online.
Kids need to understand that their words and actions can have a significant impact on people they encounter online. Teach your child to show empathy and compassion in her online interactions, and avoid using statements like “it’s just the internet,” or, “the internet isn’t real” to reassure her after she’s had a negative encounter.
4. Social media content is highly curated.
Though your child must be taught to see internet users as real people whose feelings deserve respect, she also needs to be aware of how digital content can be manipulated. Many people intentionally curate their social media feeds to present an idealized version of their life and physical appearance (e.g., by altering their photos, sharing only positive experiences and feelings, and trying to appear wealthier than they are).
Educate your child about the capabilities of modern image editing software, so she knows that the effortlessly beautiful people she sees online aren’t an accurate representation of reality. You should also remind your child that we only see the highlights of other people’s lives online. If a person only posts when they go out for dinner, travel, or attend parties, for example, their social media feed will create the misleading impression that their life involves constant fun and excitement (because we can’t see what they do on their “off” days).
Rethinking Your Own Social Media Usage
Kids learn primarily by example, even when it comes to their online behaviour. In addition to educating your children about the risks of social media, you should therefore take a critical look at your own usage: How much time do you spend online per day? Do you share too much of your family’s private lives on public accounts? Do you ever post content or exchange messages that make you feel uncomfortable? Adjusting any counterproductive online habits you have will send a clear, consistent message to your child.
Finally, make sure your whole family adheres to the same boundaries around accessing social media. Certain times and places should be designated “screen free” zones: Phones should not be used at the dinner table, during family activities, and during car trips. Giving everyone in your household frequent, predictable breaks from social media can help your kids maintain perspective, focus on “real life,” and avoid internet addiction.
When used sensibly, social media can help us connect with people from other cultures, spread awareness of important issues, and form lasting friendships. By educating your kids about safe social media usage, you’ll give them the skills they need to enjoy the benefits of online interaction - without experiencing its pitfalls.
