How we process information also affects how we interact with other people - a fact often overlooked when dealing with children who have learning challenges. In addition to struggling with certain academic concepts, children with learning and attention disorders also have difficulty connecting with peers. They may misread faces, body language, and tone of voice or miss social cues, for example. Some children with learning challenges also have difficulty expressing themselves or moderating their pace of conversation so that it’s appropriate.
Adults must understand that while these differences may seem minor in their eyes - or even be appreciated as unique aspects of a child’s character - other children are, unfortunately, probably not going to see them in the same light. For children, especially preteens and adolescents, even small aberrations from normal social behaviours can be grounds for teasing, bullying, and other forms of rejection. Addressing social problems early on should therefore be an essential part of any learning disordered child’s total education plan.
Why Do Children With Learning Disorders Have Social Difficulties?
In order to help children with learning disorders lead fuller and happier social lives, parents and educators need to understand why they experience social challenges. Children with learning difficulties often experience social problems due to the following factors:
Cognitive processing difficulties
Most of us don’t think about how cognitive processing - the ability to comprehend new information, organize it, and retrieve the correct response - impacts the ability to socialize. Why? We don’t have to. For most people, this process is instinctual and automatic in social situations; for children with LDs, however, it often is not. They therefore have to think about each step involved in any given social interaction, right down to choosing the correct words to use. This makes them appear “slow” or “strange” to other children.
Children who fall on the autism spectrum or who have non - verbal learning disorder often struggle the most profoundly with recognizing and processing social patterns. However, these same children often excel at rote learning, so it’s possible to teach them to memorize associations, e.g. which feelings “match” which facial expressions. Practicing these associations will help children affected by such cognitive issues to learn to interact appropriately, though the process will never become fully “automatic.”
If your child has difficulty with cognitive processing in social situations, another helpful technique is to walk your child through a “replay” of negative interactions (once he has calmed down, of course). Break them down step - by - step and help your child identify where, exactly, he went wrong. You can then help him memorize a strategy for avoiding that mistake in the future.
Organization issues
Children with executive functioning problems (such as those with an ADHD diagnosis) often understand information, but they have difficulty organizing it and assigning priority to it. They may therefore appear rude, neglectful, or unpredictable to their peers. For instance, a child with ADHD might abruptly stop responding to another child because he’s “tuned in” to the discussion of a nearby classmate instead. Furthermore, these children may “blurt out” their thoughts impulsively without considering whether or not they will offend others.
Children with executive functioning difficulties need to be taught how to self - regulate. While this is often a long, challenging process, it can be aided by the provision of clear explanations on how the child’s executive functioning issues contribute directly to social problems. Children with executive functioning issues must also be taught to receive feedback openly, rather than reacting with anger or impatience. This will allow them to learn from their mistakes (and therefore initiate self - regulation).
Language retrieval problems
Some children (such as those affected by dyslexia) may have excellent social skills, but they can’t always find the right words needed to apply them. Though language disabilities are often thought of as being inhibitory only to reading and writing, they can also affect spoken language, resulting in impaired word retrieval during conversation. Children affected by these issues may use the wrong words to express concepts or be slow to respond to peers. Other children therefore fail to recognize their intelligence and this can lead to bullying or rejection.
Children with language retrieval problems need to be taught alternative strategies for self - advocating so that they can resist these negative reactions. Resilience is another important life skill that parents and educators should seek to instill in these children.
Confidence issues
Though confidence issues are indirectly linked to learning and attention disorders (being caused by social difficulties/stigma in class, rather than the disorders themselves), confidence deficits also heavily impact social functioning. Children who lack confidence are often perceived as “weak” or “timid” by other children; this further raises an LD child’s risk of being picked on.
Compounding the above problems, many children with learning disorders are not diagnosed until later in their development. They have therefore often spent many years being “blamed” by parents and/or educators: Told they need to try harder, pay more attention, etc. When combined with the burden of peer rejection, this hostility from authority figures can prove extremely isolating and damaging to the child’s self - esteem. Children with late - diagnosed LDs often believe they are stupid and altogether unworthy - feelings that can eventually lead to depression.
Children who are newly diagnosed with a learning disorder must be told that they are absolutely as smart as other children. They need to be reassured that their difficulties are not their fault, too. Only once the child’s self - esteem has been healed can he (or she) truly begin to learn new social strategies. After all, without confidence, no child can effectively advocate for himself.
When dealing with a learning - disordered child, parents and educators must remember that - above all else - patience is key. It’s vital that you do not react emotionally when a child is behaving in disordered ways or failing to grasp a seemingly “simple” concept; he literally cannot help it. Open, nonjudgmental communication must be maintained at all times if the child is to learn new ways of interacting.
