To the parents of children with learning disabilities, it will come as no surprise that anxiety often goes hand in hand with learning problems. Of course, some degree of worry and fear is to be expected when a child’s academic performance is compromised. Having to face frustration and uncertainty every day at school would, after all, make anyone nervous. But how do parents know when their child’s anxiety is becoming excessive, and moreover, what can they do about it?
First and foremost, parents must remember that they are never helpless bystanders in their child’s struggles. While it’s true that you cannot completely shield your child from the effects of his (or her) learning disability, there’s a lot you can do to minimize their discomfort. Furthermore, parents are often instrumental in building their child’s confidence, and confidence is an excellent combatant in the fight against fear.
Before you can effectively help your child, however, you’ll need to understand what kind of situations are likely to cause anxiety in children with learning difficulties. You’ll also need to be aware that all children with LD will react to these situations differently. Some kids will experience a moderate amount of fear and worry, then adapt and find ways to cope with their difficulties. More often than not, these kids are the ones who reach out for help in dealing with their learning problems. Other kids tend to keep silent and internalize their anxiety, allowing it to build up to unhealthy levels. Children in this latter group are at a higher risk of developing an anxiety disorder, along with concurrent issues like depression and low self-esteem. By learning how to identify the symptoms of anxiety in your child early on, you’ll be better able to assess whether or not he falls into this “at risk” group. As is the case with most mental health issues, early intervention tends to produce the most favourable results when treating anxiety.
Identifying and Combating Anxiety in Children with Learning Disabilities
Anxiety problems usually begin once a child leaves kindergarten and enters grade school. It’s not uncommon for children with learning disabilities to make their way through kindergarten with relative ease. But, as soon as they’re given more challenging work in grade school, their deficits start to become apparent. At this juncture, anxiety tends to set in.
Anxiety usually manifests initially as a fear of being unable keep up. As children become more socially conscious, they grow acutely aware of the fact that they are not able to complete tasks at the same rate as their peers. Even if their classmates don’t treat them negatively as a result of their learning problems, these kids tend to develop a certain level of insecurity over being “different.” They may feel as though they are “stupid” and therefore begin to worry about their future prospects.
If you notice your child is struggling to keep up with his peers academically, it’s important to avoid assuming that he just isn’t trying hard enough. Remember: Young children usually inherently want to please the adults in their lives and avoid social stigma at school, so your child probably isn’t falling behind due to intentional negligence. Encourage your child to keep trying and help him adhere to a consistent schedule where homework is concerned, but don’t react to his difficulties with criticism. Instead, look for signs that he’s experiencing processing issues. Kids with learning disabilities will often bring home poorly kept notes, or no notes at all, for instance, because they cannot translate the teacher’s verbal instructions into written form. Other signs of a learning disability include extreme disorganization, forgetfulness, trouble reading social cues, attentional problems, and the inability to read at an age-appropriate level.
While it may take some time to obtain an accurate diagnosis, you can start addressing your child’s anxiety by teaching him stress management techniques (e.g., breathing and positive visualization exercises). Younger kids have a poorly developed stress tolerance and this can worsen the anxiety they experience in the classroom. Teaching your child age-appropriate coping mechanisms can help him learn how to self-soothe effectively. It’s also very important to explain to your child that people can have learning difficulties and still be “smart.” Indeed, even some highly gifted children have learning disabilities. A skill deficit in one area does not indicate an overall lack of intelligence, but your child won’t know this unless you tell him so.
Parents are also advised to pay close attention to how their child feels during the diagnostic process. The early stages of diagnosis can be a lonely, confusing time for a child affected by learning problems. The child is often taken to the psychologist repeatedly without being told in any great detail what he’s being tested for. Furthermore, he’ll probably “listen in” on tense conversations between his parents and pick up on the fact that they’re stressed out—because of him. All of this can cause a child’s imagination to go haywire. It’s not uncommon for children being tested for a learning disability to worry that they are gravely ill, for example, or to assume they’ve done something so bad that their parents might stop loving them.
Figuring out how to explain what’s going on to your child in an age-appropriate way is therefore essential if you want to minimize his anxiety. Furthermore, it’s important to make sure your home remains a happy and harmonious environment. Work through whatever worries you have about your child’s condition so that he doesn’t absorb your anxiety.
In addition to utilizing the strategies above, parents should remain watchful for the symptoms of anxiety throughout their child’s academic career. Anxiety that comes on suddenly may indicate that your child is experiencing additional problems at school (such as bullying) or developing more serious anxiety issues. Be on the lookout for any of the following changes in your child:
- Chronic nightmares. While occasional nightmares are common in young children (and usually nothing to worry about), chronic bad dreams and sleeping problems in children can be indicative of anxiety.
- Social phobia. If your child is over the age of five and yet remains terrified of leaving the house, or experiences extreme separation anxiety, he may be at increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder.
- Somatic complaints that cannot be linked to a medical problem. Because children struggle to express their feelings verbally, they often manifest their worry in the form of physical complaints. Kids with anxiety typically complain of headaches and stomach aches, even while appearing perfectly healthy. In kids with learning problems, these complaints are usually most prevalent in the morning, as the child wishes to avoid going to school.
- An excessive fear of something “bad” happening. Children who are experiencing chronic anxiety sometimes fixate on the possibility of something terrible happening to them or their loved ones. They may worry about a natural disaster occurring, for example, or obsess about the idea of mom and dad dying.
- Social withdrawal. Eventually, the stress of dealing with having a learning disability can become so intense that the child affected simply withdraws from normal life as much as he can. He will become more quiet than usual at home, avoid engaging in extracurricular and peer activities, and lose interest in his hobbies. Children who display these symptoms are frequently in the early stages of depression.
- Aggressiveness. Some children try to assert control over their fears by becoming oppositional and domineering. These kids are disruptive in class, difficult at home, and sometimes bully their peers.
Note that most children will go through short phases where they exhibit one or more of the above behaviours. If these behaviours last for weeks or months on end, however, parents should consider seeking professional help for their child. Remember: Early intervention is often key to dismantling anxiety before it can turn into a lifelong problem.
