With cases of coronavirus continuing to mount around the world, it’s all but impossible to shield kids from news that make them anxious. Though COVID-19 virus generally does not cause serious illness in children, that doesn’t stop kids from worrying about the implications of dealing with a frightening new disease. Kids can be exposed to misinformation about coronavirus, either on the playground or through social media, that makes COVID-19 seem more grave than it actually is. Children can also absorb the anxiety experienced by adults around them.
By discussing COVID-19 with your child, you can calm his (or her) fears and debunk harmful myths about the illness. You can also give your child strategies for dealing with the outbreak in a helpful and ultimately empowering way.
Why Should You Talk About COVID-19 with Your Child?
Experts typically recommend that parents eliminate, or at least strictly limit, kids’ exposure to scary news stories. When a subject becomes as prevalent as the coronavirus epidemic, however, it’s usually better to confront the issue directly, because your child will almost certainly encounter it while interacting with peers or teachers. Giving your child accurate, reassuring information will allow him to counter gossip when he hears it, thereby limiting the spread of damaging rumors. You’ll give your child the opportunity to ask any questions he has, too, so he won’t end up keeping his worries to himself.
Openly talking about the coronavirus in your household will also show your child that the topic isn’t taboo or a cause for panic. Fostering dialogue about serious issues like COVID-19 is important, because secrecy has a way of magnifying children’s fears. When kids overhear their parents talking about a subject in hushed whispers, or pick up on the fearful energy of the adults around them, they tend to assume that the issue at hand is so scary it must remain hidden. Bringing a subject out into the open, on the other hand, sends the message that the problem can be managed if your family works together as a team.
4 Things to Know Before You Discuss COVID-19 with Your Child
You may not want to bring up COVID-19 because you’re concerned about implanting a frightening idea in your child’s mind, but this can be prevented by taking the right approach. Before you talk to your child about novel coronavirus, consider the four points below:
- If your child has an existing mental health issue, talk to a specialist first.
Though most kids can handle discussing COVID-19 (as long as they’re given enough reassurance), children with anxiety, depression, or a history of trauma may find the topic triggering. If your child is currently receiving care for a mental health condition, talk to his doctor or psychologist about the best way to manage his fears. Your child may experience an increase in symptoms related to media coverage of COVID-19, so it’s important for you and your family’s healthcare provider to remain vigilant. If your child appears to be struggling, reach out to your doctor for additional guidance.
Common signs of heightened anxiety in children include separation anxiety (i.e., your child gets scared if you leave the house, or leave the room), behavioural issues, and physical complaints, like frequent headaches and stomach aches. Your child may also misbehave to test your level of attachment, because he’s seeking reassurance that you love him too much to leave him. (Small children can equate a fear of parental death with a fear of abandonment.) You can evaluate your child’s anxiety level with this 5-min online child anxiety questionnaire.
- Keep the message reassuring.
When you bring up COVID-19, keep your tone informative but casual. Rather than opening the conversation with a vague or ominous statement (such as, “We need to have a talk right now.”), calmly say something like, “You might have heard there’s a new virus going around, called the coronavirus. It doesn’t usually make kids sick, but I’d like us to practice regular hand-washing for a while. I also want you to know there are a lot of doctors and scientists working on treatments to keep everyone healthy.”
If your child has questions about the illness, use facts and practical strategies to put his mind at ease. If he asks how the illness is spread, for example, you should tell him that the best ways to prevent transmission are regular hand-washing and staying home if you’re sick.
Above all else, it’s important to keep your demeanor calm and confident; kids feed off our emotions, so your child will “hear” your feelings more loudly than your words. To limit your own anxiety about COVID-19, reduce your total media exposure to just the amount you need to stay abreast of current developments. Check reputable sources, like the World Health Organization, no more than once or twice per day, and avoid frightening “click bait” articles about the virus.
Even after you talk about COVID-19 with your kids, don’t let them watch the news, and don’t discuss your fears about the virus with other adults when they’re within earshot. For your message of reassurance to be effective, you’ll need to keep it consistent - don’t let scary stories or overheard conversations contradict what you’ve said to your child.
- Use age-appropriate language.
If your children are under four years of age, modify the discussion so that it’s fully age-appropriate. Don’t intimidate your child by using complex phrases or giving him too much information, both of which might make the topic seem overwhelming. Say something simple, like, “Some people are getting sick right now, so we should wash our hands more often.” Then, practice proper hand-washing techniques while singing a song, like “Happy Birthday,” or “The Wheels on the Bus.” Placing a picture that depicts someone washing their hands near each sink in the house can also help remind your child to maintain the habit.
- Don’t nag or scold your child when he touches his face.
Even for adults, avoiding hand-to-face contact is extremely difficult. The average person touches his or her face at least 23 times per hour, according to the Association for Professionals in Infection Control and Epidemiology, largely without even realizing it. Children, who don’t yet have fully developed impulse control skills, usually cannot suppress the urge to touch their faces.
Continually nagging or scolding your child when you see him rubbing his eyes or nose will only increase his anxiety about getting sick, without conferring any real benefits. Focus on encouraging frequent hand-washing instead, so your child’s hands will be as germ-free as possible when he does touch his face.
Dealing with emerging threats like COVID-19 can be challenging and frightening for children and adults alike. If you need help managing anxiety related to novel coronavirus, talk to a family therapist about the best ways to keep yourself - and your kids - calm during the coronavirus outbreak.
