Teenage Suicide: Warning Signs and Prevention

Dr. Tali Shenfield | April 16, 2015

There can be few things more devastating to a family than a suicide of a child. Not just one person is lost but the whole family loses something that it can never get back. Most suicides, however, could have been prevented. This is why it is so vital for families to learn to identify the signals of potential suicide to develop the courage and skills to understand and address their children’s needs.

First, a few facts to help families understand what they might be dealing with and if their children are at heightened risk. Suicide occurs on average each year to 1 in 10,000 teens. To keep this in perspective, suicide is the second largest cause of death for teenagers between 15 and 19, second only to auto accidents. Girls are twice as likely to attempt suicide compared to boys, but boys are four times more likely to be successful. Several populations are at increased risk including the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) population. A variety of mental disorders can also heighten the risk of suicide. Teen depression and anxiety which leave a young person with a sense of hopelessness can lead to suicidal ideation. So too can extremely poor coping skills and poor social skills, especially if they stem from an ongoing condition, such as Autism Spectrum Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. According to recently published research study by Stockholm Brain Institute conducted on 52000 ADHD patients, teens with ADHD have 10 times higher suicide risk than their non-ADHD peers. The rate of attempted suicide in ADHD patients is as high as 1 in 10 and rate of committed suicide is 1 in 500.  Teens that have been sexually and/or emotionally abused early in their lives and perhaps into the present are at high risk as well. Essentially, the teenager who feels separate, different, unloved, and estranged from peers and/ or family will be at higher risk of suicide.

This does not mean, however, that the well-adjusted teenager is immune to such risk. A tumultuous parental divorce or the breakup of a romantic relationship can tip a teenager into despair and hopelessness. Depressed teenagers have also been known to ‘fake it’ and pretend to be hyperactively engaged and happy with their lives while inside they are experiencing desperation.

Adolescence is the time when identity is being established. For the teenage it means separating from exclusive emotional bonds with the family and extending into relationships with peers and with outside interests. It is a time of establishing an identity separate from the family and primary caregivers. This can often be a difficult time for the family of any teenager. And this is why it is so often heard that a family has misread the signs of suicidal intentions with the signs of a teenage trying to find his or her way through the normal maturation process. Often, the parents think that a teenager is drawing attention or manipulating them playing on their parental love and caring. However, when you think about the risk involved, it’s better to respond to a “false alarm” than to miss a real signal. The challenge for families is to separate out the signals of suicidal intentions from the noise, both physical and emotional, that accompanies normal maturation. It also means developing a courageous stance when it comes to the topic of suicide.

One of the most important signs to look for is a change in behavior or mood that seems like something new for a person. Sudden withdrawal from friends, family, and activities that were once pleasurable should be a sign for concern. So too are sudden changes in mood or behavior such as changes in sleep patterns, eating habits and self-care. For boys especially, acts of defiance and rebellion with a self-destructive tone to them are often markers of suicidal intentions.

If you notice these types of changed behaviors and moods then it is time for listening and for talk. Listening means paying close attention to the language of your teenager. Suicide is rarely a sudden event. It takes time for the idea to build up into action. Along the way these ideas will come out in the language that your teenager uses. Look for expressions of extreme negativity and hopelessness. This is not to be confused with some teenagers who, as part of the normal maturation process, will adopt a nihilistic philosophy, i.e. a predominance of black in their wardrobe. The high energy of the black clothes and leather crowd is different from the low energy negativity that often accompanies suicidal intentions. A predominance of words such as ‘I don’t care’, ‘who cares’, ‘leave me alone’, and others accompanied by the behavioral signs identified above, are signals that it is time for a conversation.

Many parents are under the impression that mentioning the idea of suicide to an already troubled teenager will actually push them towards the act. But this is not true. It takes real courage on the part of families to bring up the subject. But it is vital. It is also something that the whole family, not just parents, can and should engage in.

For families who are fearful of directly confronting their teenager’s possible intentions, one strategy is to use the knowledge of another teenager’s suicide to open up the discussion.  Asking a teenager what they think about someone else their own age who has committed suicide can lead to more personal questions. It can lead to deeper questions about a teenager’s own feelings about suicide. It is good to know for instance if your teenager believes that suicide is an acceptable solution to personal problems. Religious beliefs about the sin of suicide are not as strong in our society as they once were and it is good to know your teen’s views on whether suicide is ‘okay’.

Throughout these conversations it is important to validate both your love and respect for your teenager and your desire for their happiness. It is also important to recognize when more help is needed than what you can provide. If your teenager is sharing his or her suicidal thoughts or intentions then professional help from a therapist or counselor who is familiar with teenage suicide is highly recommended. However, if the person tells you that they have suicidal feelings almost all of the time and that they thought of the means to accomplish it, this means your child is under immediate risk and crisis prevention measures need to be taken. Such a person should not be left alone; all dangerous objects (sharp knives, medications, ropes) should be removed; a suicide prevention agency should be contacted. If you feel that you cannot control the situation, call 911 or take your teenager to the nearby hospital.

The bottom line is this. One in 10,000 doesn’t seem like a large number when it comes to the percent of teens who will commit suicide each year. Unless it is your child. Take the time to observe, listen to and talk to your teen whenever you suspect suicidal thoughts or intentions. Be honest. Be brave. Be courageous.

Online child anxiety test

 

Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/areta_e/6171511773

 

About Tali Shenfield

Dr. Tali Shenfield holds a PhD in Psychology from the University of Toronto and is a licensed school and clinical psychologist. She has taught at the University of Toronto and has worked at institutions including the Hospital for Sick Children, Hincks-Dellcrest Centre, TDSB, and YCDSB. Dr. Shenfield is the Founder and Clinical Director of Advanced Psychology Services.

Related Articles