Common Misconceptions:
Finding out that your child or teenager has been self-harming can be a very anxiety-inducing event. There are many misconceptions about self-harm that can put further strain on the relationship between parent and child as they work to solve the underlying issues that cause this behavior. The first misconception is that self-harm is always a suicide attempt. It is not, and it is not always a cry for attention, either. Most self-injurious behavior, such as cutting, has little real likelihood of fatally injuring anyone. A second misconception is that children or teens that self-injure do so purely for attention. The truth is that they often do their very best to hide the marks and scars they cause on their bodies under clothes or jewlery. The third misconception is that the only type of self-injury is cutting. While cutting is a popular form of self-injury, children and teens may also self-injure by hitting themselves, by smashing some part of their body into a hard surface, by inflicting burns on themselves, or by pulling their hair. It is important to remember that all of these are different forms of the same destructive behavior, and that everyone engages in some form of self-destructive behaviors from time to time for the same purpose: making themselves feel temporarily better.
Understanding the Reasons:
It is important to understand why your child might do such a thing to themselves. People who engage in self-harm do so because they have dealt with some painful and difficult experiences that they were not equipped to handle alone. This can involve bullying, neglect, social isolation, separation from someone they care about, physical violence, or abuse. The anger and other emotions that such experiences cause have no other outlet; the child or teen turns their negative emotions inward and expresses the hurt physically. Because of this, young women and members of minority groups are the most likely to self-injure, and up to one in ten in these populations have engaged in self-injury. They do so to find relief, however temporary, from the terrible situation they see themselves in. Such individuals are more likely to have other issues, such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, anger, substance use and abuse, and social isolation.
Helping your Child:
It is important for children and teens that self-injure to get professional help. Whatever experiences and emotions are at the root of the behavior are so painful that they felt the need to deal with them by hurting themselves. It is important that they build up social supports and learn better coping mechanisms to deal with their problems. Professionals have the training necessary to address these emotions and teach the coping skills necessary to eliminate or reduce self-injurious behavior. As a parent, you should try to find a child psychologist who has experience in dealing with self-injury. While self-injury is not the end of the world, it is a serious problem that needs to be addressed by a professional. To read more about self-harm (self-injury) please visit mental health conditions page.
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