Self esteem is vitally important in building a healthy personality. In fact, instilling self esteem early can eliminate a number of personality problems later in life.
Poor self esteem can lead children to bully others in an effort to feel stronger or more important. It can also lead to a kind of blind arrogance where a person is so insecure that they cannot afford to question their beliefs, ideas or actions. This can lead them to not correct their self-destructive behavior or poor behavioral patterns.
Self respect and self confidence are vitally important in developing a rational and successful approach to life. People without self confidence are easily led and can be led in the wrong direction.
Here are some things to think about.
- People with healthy self esteem tend to work harder than people with low self esteem.
- Self esteem relates directly to how willing a person is to step out and take the risks necessary for a successful life.
- Children who have healthy self esteem tend to be more loving and less greedy.
- Good self esteem has a positive affect on how well children get along with others.
- Achievement begins early in life and children with good self esteem are more likely to be early achievers.
- A child who builds good self esteem while still young can more easily resist peer pressure when he or she becomes a teenager.
So, how do you instill self esteem into a child? The key is in doing it indirectly. You can't simply tell your child to be proud of him or herself. If he or she is not confident, your words will simply seem like an invitation to be arrogant.
When it comes to instilling self esteem, actions and attitudes speak louder than words.
First off, you'll have a hard time helping your child build self esteem if yours is low. So you may need to work on yourself first. Children learn by example, so it's important to set a good example. It's also important to remember that honest praise is the fastest way to build self esteem. There are many things that we are told to be afraid of in our modern world. And we are often taught to expect the worst from our fellow human beings and to fear bad behavior from our children. The reality is that most people want to do the right thing and most children want to please their parents, or at least they start out that way. So, praise has a twofold advantage. It not only increases your child's self esteem, it also helps make them more obedient and considerate of your needs.
Another great way to instill self esteem is to help your child learn a skill. I knew a fellow whose parents started helping him recognize words when he was still in diapers. He was reading at first grade level by the time he was three. While you don't have to go that far, any skill will do as long as it's something your child is interested in. Being able to do something well is one of the best self esteem boosters there is.
Another important element is to focus on what your child does right, rather than what he or she does wrong. While criticism has its place, it's important to remember that young children are completely dependent on their parents for survival, and don't think that your child doesn't know this. While we may be used to overly critical bosses or co-workers. Overly critical parents can make a child actually feel endangered. Mom and Dad are all that Junior has got. And if Mom and Dad are never happy or pleased, then Junior has a big problem.
This is why family support is so important. Let your child know that he or she is not alone in the world.
Communication is another important element in helping your child build self esteem. It is important to not be judgmental of your child's feelings. It's the way your child reacts to his feelings that is important. By listening without judgment, you can gather sufficient information to make sound decisions and you encourage your child to trust you when it comes to talking about important subjects. This may not seem related to self esteem, but it is. Self esteem can only develop in a safe environment. Before your child can learn to trust him or herself, he or she must be able to trust the surrounding environment. You are a big part of that environment, so your child's self esteem begins with trusting you.
Author: Dr. Tali Shenfield
Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/rediscoveringrae/5118661513
