Imagine the following… You've just arrived at your destination without the conscious realization that you were driving for the past 30 minutes; you were on autopilot. Or… you finished half bag of popcorn at the movie theatre without consciously realizing you've gobbled so much popcorn that now your stomach is on edge. Or yet another… you catch yourself day-dreaming and realize you have tuned out of the meeting you were supposed to be attending to.
These are examples of our distracted mind. You may have been thinking about your “to-do” list, or your recent disagreement with a friend, or, my personal favourite, daydreaming of your upcoming vacation. Having multiple thoughts going through our minds is both common and natural. Yet, regardless of whether you were thinking about pleasant or unpleasant things, having useful or un-useful thoughts, you were not present and missed the awareness that comes with being and attending to the present.
Attention is a significant concern in our society, and an even greater concern for our children. We are constantly surrounded by multiple stimuli and in a world where technology like smart phones play such a crucial role, it is of no surprise that children are often inattentive. Just think of the exposure to Facebook, Twitter, ubiquitous wireless access to information and people that today’s youth are exposed to! This ever-expanding digital revolution is around us 24/7. It is of no surprise, then, that attention is a concern.
Attention, after all, requires the ability to slow down and focus on relevant information, despite distractions. Good ability to regulate attention can help inoculate children against various negative impacts, such as stress, poor parenting, and peer pressure. But how do we teach good attention when it does not come naturally? Or particularly when a child has been diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), a common disorder that is on the rise, with an average of 11% of children diagnosed with ADHD in U.S. as of 20111. One answer to improving children’s – as well as adults’ – attention and awareness skills is through mindfulness practice. Research has shown that mindfulness practice may improve attention in both adults and children. 2,3
Just like physical exercise develops our body, mindfulness develops our mind. It challenges us to stay in the moment and focus. Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When we are mindful, we start to attend more closely to the way our own mind actually works and we are likely to find that much of the time our mind is more in the past or the future than it is in the present. It follows that we can easily miss many of our moments because we are not fully here for them. You can experience this distractibility of the mind through a simple experiment, one that is common to the practice of mindfulness:
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Become aware of your breathing. Don’t try to control your breathing. Just let it happen and be aware of it, feeling how it feels, witnessing it as it flows in and out. Try being with your breath in this way for three minutes… you may notice your mind wandering, that is ok, just gently bring it back to focus on your breath. If, at some point, you think that it is foolish or boring to just sit here and watch your breath go in and out, note this to yourself as a thought and a judgment, and let go of it, bringing your attention back to your breath.
When you've completed three minutes of attending to your breath, reflect on how you felt during this time and how much or how little your mind wandered away from your breathing. This exercise can give you a taste of what mindful meditation is. It is, essentially, the process of observing body and mind intentionally, of being aware of the present moment to moment. It is not a passive process and can be more difficult than physics and algebra put together! It is not easy to slow down and “smell the roses,” particularly not in our fast-paced society. Finding the time to practice mindfulness on a daily basis leads us on a path towards a more enriched, present way of life.
As parents, it is important to model living mindfully to your children. Making mindfulness as an enjoyable part of everyday life in children’s life is essential in “planting seeds” for this lifestyle. For instance, incorporating mindful eating at family meal times may become an enjoyable part of the day that gets you to slow down. Since we've started mindful eating with our picky 3-year-old, we’ve observed him to be more adventurous in trying new foods. He is still picky, but he is more open minded in trying new flavours. There is no right or wrong experience in mindfulness, be creative and have fun in integrating present moment awareness into activities that your family already enjoys. Bottom line: the best way to teach mindfulness to your child is to practice mindfulness yourself! After all, children learn by example.
In summary, mindfulness is not just a good idea, or a nice philosophy, it needs to be incorporated into our everyday lives. As Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of mindfulness in the West, so wisely said: “You can’t change the waves, but you can learn to surf.” By stepping out of autopilot, we can lead more purposeful lives and model this life for our children.
References:
1. Visser, S., Danielson, M., Bitsko, R, et al. (2014). Trends in the Parent-Report of Health Care Provider-Diagnosis and Medication Treatment for ADHD disorder: United States, 2003–2011. J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry, 53(1), 34–46.
2. Jha, A.P., Krompinger, J., Baime, M.J. (2007). Mindfulness training modifies subsystems of attention. Cogntive Affective Behav Neuroscience, 7(2), 109-119.
3. Felver, J.C., Tipsord, J.M., Morris, M.J. et al. (2014). The effects of mindfulness-based intervention on children’s attention regulation. Journal of Attention Disorders.
Image Credit: flickr.com/photos/gafreax/4460687494/
